Oh dear, some people are just baffled by technology, aren't they? Take the case of the TV researcher who wanted to contact self-styled football hooligan Paul Dodd in connection with a documentary about football fans and drug abuse. The researcher in question decided the best route to Dodd was via his Web site. More specifically, she left a message for him on the site's noticeboard room -- a place normally frequented by people who like to trade insults and offer to exchange blows with one another. The researcher -- one Vicky Hamburger -- left the following message in this den of testosterone and lairyness. "Dear Paul... I'm researching a documentary for Channel 4 about cocaine use in Britain and would like to find out more about drug use amongst football fans, from cannabis to Ecstasy to coke. It would be great to have a chat with you about this, strictly off the record. If you are interested to speak to me then please give me a call back on 0171-482-5885, in total confidence, and I'll call you straight back. Thanks very much and I really hope to hear from you soon." Note the use of the terms "off-the-record" and "total confidence" -- in a message left on a public message board for football fans. Well, it didn't take long and the feedback started to trickle in. Like this one from Harry Hotdog: "Can I stick my sausage between your baps, Miss Hamburger?" Or this from someone calling themselves Boing Boing: "Miss Hamburger -- have you a great set of baps?" Here at The Register we don't condone violence, but you have to admit, some people are just asking for it. Welcome to the real world, Vicky Hamburger -- bet it's been a bit of an eye-opener. ®