Well, the deadline has passed for our Register corporate anthem competition. And what a bulging sack of lyrical excellence we have received. From emotive power-chord driven anthems to rousing martial themes - you name it, we've got it.

The results will have to wait until next week while we dust off our twelve-string guitars and work methodically through the back catalogue. In the meantime, you'll have to make do with the following effort. It's another fine example of how to completely and definitively ensure a non-appearance on the winners' list:

Inspired by John Lettice's story Fear and Loathing in the co-lo cabinets

To the Tune of Frère Jaques

Frère Lettice, frère Lettice,
Dormez-vous? Dormez-vous?
Flakey Cisco router! Flakey Cisco router!
Geddout of bed! Geddout of bed!

(I agree, not quite what you're after ...)

Yours, Nigel Arnot.

Spot on, Nigel - exactly not quite what we're after. You may have won the respect and admiration of the Reg hacks, but you have not won a t-shirt. No siree. ®