Hardly one hour elapsed after our shocking revelation that a man was offering advertising space on his penis, than eBay cruelly prematurely terminated the coupling.

It's a poor show, it must be said. After all, it's hardly Nazi memorabilia they're punting here. On the contrary, this must be seen as a lost opportunity to send our own Reg vulture logo where no logo has gone before.

Indeed, we had already rustled up a £1,000 bid to ensure that the mighty Reg was present at the first - and second - coming of the new age of deep-penetration marketing.

The cash is still sitting in an envelope at Vulture Central. We are open to offers. (err, did you get a purchase order? - ed) ®