Well, our Australian cousins may not have the Rugby World Cup, but they do have something which should be the envy of any civilised nation - a National Public Toilet Map.

This outstanding initiative, brought to cross-legged and desperate Aussies by the superbly-named National Continence Management Strategy, is claimed to enable bursting bladders to locate the nearest dunny right down to the metre.

Since I once drove from Melbourne to Coober Pedy and had to relieve myself at one point in Lake Eyre South, I decided to investigate how the National Public Toilet Map would have made my journey that much more comfortable.

Well, it appears that at present the damn map won't open properly, so I am none the wiser as to the total number of disabled-access thunderboxes between Marree and William Creek.

Of course, it's possible that the site is experiencing problems due to a week of mourning provoked by Saturday's events at the Telstra Stadium.

We think it is imperative that the people responsible snap out of it immediately and - putting all thoughts of Jonny Wilkinson firmly from their minds - get this terrific online resource fully functioning asap. ®

Bootnote

We are not at this time accepting abusive or sarky emails from the Antipodes regarding England's magnificent Rugby World Cup victory. We have learned to drink from the bitter cup of defeat - now it's your turn.