Readers looking for a bit of tension-busting light relief ahead of tonight's clash between England and Croatia should have a shufti at the Italian website offering fans a chance to Spit with Totti.

The Flash game celebrates Francesco Totti's inphlegmmatory outburst during last week's clash with Denmark during which the volatile Italian gobbed on hapless Christian Poulsen, thereby earning himself a three-match ban.

"Spit with Totti" is a pretty straightforward affair. Use your left and right arrows to move Totti, and then click on "clicca and Sputa" (click and spit). Keeping your finger on the button will draw back Totti's head until you are ready to release a torrent of sputum.

We did not have much success hitting any of the prancing Danes hopping merrily across the pitch. We reckon this proves that - contrary to popular belief - international footballers are not simply a bunch of overpaid, spoilt and petulant divas, but rather a elite group of highly-trained professionals who dedicate years to acquiring the skills necessary for the modern game. Like spitting on your opponent. ®

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