God alone knows what NatWest customer Chris Lancaster has done to offend the bank's card issuing department, but it recently sent him a new cash card on which he is gloriously identified as "Dick Head".

Or rather, his new title in full is Mr C Lancaster Dick Head, prompting the 18-year-old Essex man to lament to UK tabloid the Sun: "I know I've been overdrawn a few times and got a few £30 charges but I’ve done nothing to deserve this."

Mr Lancaster is, of course, merely the latest victim of the great British pastime of "Let's stick something abusive on the cash card/electric bill/council tax demand". We are reminded of the outraged old chap - quite possibly a highly-decorated war hero if the Sun was reporting it - who got a bill from his local town hall addressed to "A C**t".

And, of course, long-term readers of El Reg will recall the shocking case of our very own "Dr Really Evil". Ho ho. ®

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Hello, I'd like to speak to Dr Really Evil please