Skip to content

Biting the hand that feeds IT

The Register ®

Software:


Related Whitepapers

[Print][Mobile][Alerts]

Poetry in slow motion

A Betjeman fan challenges the current laureate

Page: < Prev 1 2 3 Next >
Published Monday 4th September 2006 08:54 GMT

Pluto

Pluto:
    Defrocked planet,
    Terror of the underworld,
    Prefix to pluto-nium,
    Mickey Mouse's dog.

One cannot help but feel
It is not a lucky name.

Ode to the hourglass cursor

This is my new system, the latest!
I got it just two months ago.
Its software I'm told is the greatest,
So how come the sod runs so slow?

Apols for my impatient manner:
Explorer's gone off for its tea.
It likes to say "Hi" to the scanner
And check that there's still no drive B:.

I'm staring at Visio's splashscreen -
I clicked on a drawing in Word -
Yet still the main window is unseen.
Is this not just completely absurd?

I've put patch upon patch on this PC.
I've even indulged Acrobat.
But still it is sluggish and wheezy.
So what is the reason for that?

My Outlook is now quite appalling.
Both Opera and Firefox are bad.
There's only one app that's not stalling
But I can't browse the web with Textpad.

A virus, you think? Well, I doubt it.
I'm firewalled and NAT'ed to hell.
And anyway Sophos would clout it,
And McAfee runs weekends as well.

I thought that it might be a reg hive.
I 'decobwebbed' and checked as one should.
I'm even defragging my hard drive
(Though that never does any good).

Ten seconds it took in the DOS days:
Just turn up and turn on and boot.
And after two decades of upgrades
What gains have I seen for my loot?

This is my new system, the latest!
I got it just two months ago.
Its software I'm told is the greatest,
So how come the sod runs so slow?

Page: < Prev 1 2 3 Next >
Track this type of story as a custom Atom/RSS feed or by email.
Previous Article Next Article
whitepaper title

The Register Guides : The status of iSCSI

Now that the hype's abated, have companies backing iSCSI have run out of energy and patience, or is the technology becoming commonplace and accepted?.
whitepaper title

A Green Vision: Interview with VMWare CEO Diane Greene

This interview with VMware CEO Diane Greene discusses how you can realize the financial benefits of energy efficient, greener datacenters through server consolidation..
Whitepapers

The MSDN Developer Zone

Top 20 storiesAll The Week’s HeadlinesArchiveSearch