"You suspect that your average safety professional – a person, perhaps, such as myself – is the grown-up version of the little Mummy’s girl or boy who was too scared to go on the big slide at the recreation ground. You suspect that she or he was in the habit of calling over her or his aforementioned parent to get it everybody else thrown off the slide, and thus was able to spoil playtime for everybody,..."

Uhm, no, not exactly. I mean yea like a mommy's boy too scared to go on the big slide but driven by the instinctual fear of a lemming straying from the herd you'd go on up the big slide then, fear ridden, pee yourself, leaving a dark, wet streak every kid coming after you got bogged down in until it was finally sopped up. More like that kid.

It's okay, Greg. You're among friends now. Tell us about it...

Was worth gaping at.