...I've got a 4 slice toaster.

I've played a practical joke on a few people in our office - we've implemented a ClearQuest system that the management team are convinced is revolutionary. It looks like software, it loads like software, but it is in fact as useful as a chocolate condom...

... a DOS boot CD that reads USB and Firewire HDDs & external CD drives?

Sorry that's real and the photo's aren't all that impressive.

We had one of our purchasing guys (IT systems integrator, so our purchasing/sales guys should have reasonable knowledge) hunting around for a 3d fibre cable, we told them that the SAN we had needed them to connect to the servers we had as the servers had come with 3d cards and not the standard 2d ones. he came back after a week to make sure that it existed as he coundt find the part number we had supplied!(insert a weeks worth of e-mail trail wich we still hold over him).

The laughs you lot must have each day! You're all barking!!

A long time ago...

Sprinkled dummy files with names like RORRIM.BAT and MIRROR.EXE on the hard drive of a colleague's PC. Then opened up the monitor case & swapped the connections to the scan coils.

Took him a while to find that...

I will try to find the actual device and photo it before the week end, but...

Back in 1977 I had the dubious title of "Systems Software" at a small start-up satellite imaging company in the U.S. midwest. At the time we were constructing custom hardware based on PDP-11 half-rack systems, along with our own solder-wrapped custom AtoD and digital video image processing hardware and software. (We were even building our own frame buffers and shading correctors - that's how far back this goes!)

Anyway, we also used 4 128KB 8" floppy drives in the kit, mounted behind a nice cut-out panel on the front of the console pedestal. However, the cover panel was rarely ever "square" to the drives, and required some puonding to get the diskettes line up through the slots.

I had brought a 5-pound hand sledge in to "assist" with the alignment of the covers: it worked beautifully, as one tap would generally do the trick. I usually left it sitting around in our demo room, as, invariably, we'd be rushing a system out of "manufacturing" directly into the demo area minutes before customers arrived to do acceptance on the system - hence the need to quickly get covers "tapped" into place.

One day, some "boys" from the NSA showed up for their system, but entered the demo room slightly before I had finished the setup. They heard me banging on the cover plate from the hallway, and entered just in time to see the system coming up...and a 5lb. hammer sitting on the console table.

"What's that used for?" one of the "boys" asked.

"Disk drive alignment tool." I replied, truthfully.

They required we provide them with "the tool" as part of the delivery package.

The next day, our Marketing department gave me a hand-made wooden box with the company logo labeled "Disk Drive Alignment Tool Kit", containing a brand-new 5lb. hammer with the company logo painted neatly on it.

So, I guess this is the true source of the US$500 hammers that you hear about so often...

And the "alignment tool" still works great for removing the knock-offs from my 1956 MG wheels...

Oh, and it's not mine either.

Canford Audio sell an earth spike fitting tool and the description goes thus:

"Earth spike fitting tool. British made, using heat treated, drop forged, shot blasted, polished face steel heads with genuine hickory handles, these specialist tools will ensure correct fitting of most earth spikes, as well as performing numerous fine adjustments generally required at outside events. Weight 1.8 kg"

As you may have guessed, it is in fact a 4lb lump hammer.