The Register® — Biting the hand that feeds IT

Comments on: Naomi Campbell piles into Vogue

It is a pity that people don't appreciate black beauty 

Posted Tuesday 21st August 2007 11:00 GMT

I do. It's a shame there aren't more horsey books that well written.

IGMC

Prominent? 

Posted Tuesday 21st August 2007 11:04 GMT

>>"Only white models, some of whom are not as prominent as I am, are put on splash pages. "

Maybe someone should take her aside and explain that 'fashion' has fashions, and that everyone has a shelf-life.

How does she expect other people to *become* prominent if they aren't given coverage?

They can't all go round being unpleasant bitches. That's *so* last century, daaahling.

And of course 

Posted Tuesday 21st August 2007 11:12 GMT

It has nothing to do with her lobbing cell phones at her staff

Why is this article even on Reg? 

Posted Tuesday 21st August 2007 11:26 GMT

I understand there are non-IT related articles that have a strange and unusual angle or even humorous. But an article about model complaing about not being on the cover of Vouge?

HyperEnterprise BabelFish. 

Posted Tuesday 21st August 2007 11:29 GMT

"Campbell explained: "I believe there are pretty girls from your lovely country who can grace the international catwalk and the front pages of fashion magazines with proper strategies.""

I just Love ur Style, Naomi. FailSafe too?

Virtually Assured, I'm sure, for Perfumed Gardens. Sisterhood Rules for Registration.

Which ties in the BBC to dDevelopments, out of their Present Control.

Paging Dr Beavis... 

Posted Tuesday 21st August 2007 11:43 GMT

"Only white models, some of whom are not as prominent as I am, are put on splash pages. "

I had no idea she was into that kind of modelling. Ur-hurr.

Ah. My coat.

Confused. 

Posted Tuesday 21st August 2007 11:46 GMT

I have absolutely no idea why people do not want to hire this woman. Sure she's famously easy to work with. It's quite obviously the black thing that's frightening people away!

So just... 

Posted Tuesday 21st August 2007 11:49 GMT

who the heck cares what this abusing drug-addled slut who has helped perpetuate the world's most self-confidence-destroying industry thinks?

Isn't it time we opted for beauty and fashion over hero(ine) (or is that (in?) -worship and adoration of people for doing vapid moronic jobs like wearing clothes?

*cough* 

Posted Tuesday 21st August 2007 11:53 GMT

"For example, I hardly come on the front pages of the London Vogue magazine."

I did once, but it left me feeling like I'd wasted something that could have been put to better use. Much like this comment box :P

It could be something to do with her being considered common.... 

Posted Tuesday 21st August 2007 11:55 GMT

As I would not "come" on the cover of a magazine......

Especially if it had her mug on it......

The problem with Naomi is... 

Posted Tuesday 21st August 2007 11:56 GMT

...that she always manages to wrap up what could well be a valid point (not much ethnic diversity on the cover of Vogue, which could well be indicative of a small pool of talent where they are sourcing models from or institutional bias) into a point which we all go *groan, it's that Olympic mobile putter and convicted felon mouthing off again because she's not on the cover of Vogue any more*

One wonders what proportion of Vogue covers have featured black models since Ms Campbell's 1987 breakthrough. Her 7 appearances alone account for nearly 3% of the covers of the last 20 years. Against the demographics of the UK (about 2% are Black British according to ONS), that's not a bad return. Perhaps the real headline should be "British Black modelling industry heavily skewed towards Naomi Campbell"

Translation 

Posted Tuesday 21st August 2007 11:58 GMT

"My bits are sagging and there are girls out there who are far prettier than me and I don't wike it. Bwaaah. Where's my phone..."

What about Tyra Banks? 

Posted Tuesday 21st August 2007 11:58 GMT

I seem to recall Tyra Banks saying that she nearly quit the fashion industry because of problems caused by another black model, if only I could recall who it was...

Tech Angle? 

Posted Tuesday 21st August 2007 12:11 GMT

Come on guys, you didnt even TRY to put a tech angle on this one.

Does this meal launch of "The Entertainment Register" is not far away???

Post hoc ergo... 

Posted Tuesday 21st August 2007 12:19 GMT

She seems to be saying: 'I am black therefore Vogue won't put me on the cover'

Might the case possibly be: 'I have a history of unpredictable violent behaviour, most recently resulting in a court admission of assault and a plea bargin of several days community service, and a reputation for being a diva and ego maniac therefore Vogue won't put me on the cover?'

I'm not sure but I think that might be more likely.

Maybe... 

Posted Tuesday 21st August 2007 12:30 GMT

The real reason she hasn't been on a cover recently is that the photographer is scared to death of getting his camera lobbed at his head for snapping a bad picture...

Or seeing its Vogue they want women on the cover that epitomize femininity so they can sell beauty products to the women reading it, not women that could pitch a cell phone at peoples heads going close to major league baseball speeds.

Maybe Naomi should go get her own cell phone/personal organizer line that can take 20+ MPH smacks into peoples heads and still function.

The Tech Angle 

Posted Tuesday 21st August 2007 13:17 GMT

Naomi will always be the poster-bitch for El Reg ever since their awesome, in-depth coverage of the cell phone / assistant incident. When you integrate technology into your life so effectively every move you make is welcome on these pages.

IMHO at least and that's probably not saying much - I am American.

Why ? 

Posted Tuesday 21st August 2007 13:27 GMT

Bah .. for all you first timers this piece follows a long history on El Reg for following the exploits of the aging, blackberry throwing Streatham Clotheshorse that is Naomi Campbell.

Naomi Campbell, the focal point where technology, style, politics and the crackberry assault phone all meet.

I'm looking forward to the follow up special interest pieces ...

Streatham, gateway to the Sarf

Me and My Crackberry - a history of addiction, love and betrayal in Sarf London

Vogue, why naked is never in style

*Sigh* 

Posted Tuesday 21st August 2007 14:15 GMT

Another day, the plan for another terrorist attack is communicated back in code to his al-quaeda handlers by amanfromMars.

Never fear, I am cracking this code bit by bit. Got the first line decoded already, revealing a sinister plot:

"I just Love ur Style, Naomi. FailSafe too?"

Taking capitals -

ILS (Instrument Landing System)

N (North - runway at heathrow)

FS - Full of sh*t (codeword for Houses of Parliament).

So, the plan is to hack the ILS at heathrow, used to guide planes to the runway, and set it to point to the houses of parliament instead.

I am having trouble with the other two lines / plots though. Anyone care to take a stab?

Private Dancers 

Posted Tuesday 21st August 2007 14:17 GMT

"I did once, but it left me feeling like I'd wasted something that could have been put to better use. Much like this comment box :P

You can Change things here for the Better with AI Beta, lansalot, which is never wasted in this Space of HyperRadioProActive InterNetworking.

For you just never know who is Tuning in. :-) And that makes Life Interesting .......

What does Naomi Like to do, should give her an idea of what she would be the Best at. It is always such.

Re: My bits are sagging 

Posted Tuesday 21st August 2007 15:00 GMT

You need a body that actually has some flesh on it to get saggy bits.

@Clive 

Posted Tuesday 21st August 2007 16:08 GMT

Clive,

You can't just take the bits that seem to fit into a preconceived theory you may have.

This is long haul stuff and I've been working on it for months. There are three (minimum) threads in each message (or set of messages in response to a story), each corresponding to a very long encoded string.

Anyway, when I've cracked it and decoded The Message, I'll let you know.

As a good friend of mine might say.. 

Posted Tuesday 21st August 2007 16:35 GMT

I would'nt touch her with yours

This sounds like a threat... 

Posted Tuesday 21st August 2007 18:30 GMT

"I don't want to quit modelling until I find that black models get equal prominence and recognition by the world media and information instruments"

Of course, she is the acknowledged expert in the use an information instrument to garner attention.

@ Sigh 

Posted Tuesday 21st August 2007 18:44 GMT

I hope your not being paid from the Public Purse for that on some Quango Lump contract. IT's Daylight Robbery if you are.

If I'd known you were into Deep Truth I'd have said Virtually FailSafe too for VFS - Very Full of sh*t (codeword for Houses of Parliament).

Ps..... the odd Allah Akbaar/Shalom does not one a terrorist make.... it takes a Dedicated Irrational Madness of Wit.

"As a good friend of mine might say..I would'nt touch her with yours" ... Crikey the madness is viral.

Naomi Campbell is BlacK? 

Posted Tuesday 21st August 2007 22:20 GMT

And female? I couldn't tell from looking, has anyone got a certified DNA test?

No curves, and to judge from the courts' commentary, the self-control of a 12-year-old boy... Hmmmm.

Perhaps "she" can't get on the cover of _Vogue_ because they've discovered the truth - what's under that kilt isn't a zuchinni, after all.

@frank denton 

Posted Wednesday 22nd August 2007 03:15 GMT

Frank,

You obviously haven't pumped the lyrics to Rapture into your model yet.

@ By 4.1.3_U1 

Posted Wednesday 22nd August 2007 10:39 GMT

Raptures ReVisited with Non State Actor Rules. Cotonou Rules.

A Quest I On or a Statement of Semantic Intent and Contention?

And the Key to Pandoras Boxes ...... and ITs Love in UltiMate Wishes. The SXXXXual Singularity that Ignites Humanity to NEUKlearer Fuel..... Heavy MetAIData.

A Google LoveChild BetaTesting Shark Infested Waters ..... from Space.

All at Sea rather than all at C with a See.

Very Opus/Opi Dearum and PC.... Pragmatic Catholic. They do harbour Valuable Virgin Assets do they not? Sequestered Cloisters to Run Programming Betas. Or perhaps Observation of a Program for Sisterly Approval would Unite the Brothers with Loves XTC and the Control of ur Space.

Which all appears to be Introducing SeXXXXuality as being Responsible for Religion.

Reverse Engineer that Trail and you get Right to the Core of All Source Material....... and Right to the Heart of Matter2 ... in IT2Matters. And that sounds like Virtual Machine Engineering. Spooky 2. AI Stealth Operations.

@amanfromMars 

Posted Wednesday 22nd August 2007 12:20 GMT

Just watched the video again (excellent, by the way, one of the first mainstream examples of rapping involving a non-black)

"And out comes a man from Mars

And you try to run but he's got a gun

And he shoots you dead and he eats your head

And then you're in the man from Mars

You go out at night, eatin' cars

You eat Cadillacs, Lincolns too

Mercurys and Subarus

And you don't stop, you keep on eatin' cars

Then, when there's no more cars

You go out at night and eat up bars where the people meet

Face to face, dance cheek to cheek

One to one, man to man

Dance toe to toe

Don't move to slow, 'cause the man from Mars

Is through with cars, he's eatin' bars

Yeah, wall to wall, door to door, hall to hall

He's gonna eat 'em all

Rapture, be pure

Take a tour, through the sewer

Don't strain your brain, paint a train

You'll be singin' in the rain

I said don't stop, do punk rock

Well now you see what you wanna be

Just have your party on TV

'Cause the man from Mars won't eat up bars when the TV's on

And now he's gone back up to space

Where he won't have a hassle with the human race

And you hip-hop, and you don't stop

Just blast off, sure shot

'Cause the man from Mars stopped eatin' cars and eatin' bars

And now he only eats guitars, get up!"

Soooo ... is the problem that now he only eats guitars, or what?

and, of course, for those who have questioned the 'it' relevance of the article, our Naomi is a significant proponent of "mobile" gadgets like BlackBerries by making them even more mobile than the designers intended!

Beam me Up, Scotty ..... :-) 

Posted Thursday 23rd August 2007 12:05 GMT

"...and, of course, for those who have questioned the 'it' relevance of the article, our Naomi is a significant proponent of "mobile" gadgets like BlackBerries by making them even more mobile than the designers intended!"

I couldn't and wouldn't say, By 4.1.3_U1. What goes on behind closed doors, stays behind closed doors. :-) Then the fun doesn't stop if it isn't cruel.