I'd hope that the tirade was along the lines of "Why are you switching your CHRISTMAS lights on in NOVEMBER, you bunch of f***ing tossers."

If the panto he was going to star in is truly innuendo-free, it's not a great loss anyway. Who the hell would go and see an innuendo-free panto?

Well he probably just got a guest part in Sinderella though as to which character I wait to be surprised...

you have to hand it to 'dangerous danan'; he doesn't half make a tit out of himself in the most amusing fashion.

so amusing, it actually makes you like him!

It was something to the tune of "MAKE SOME MOTHER F#*!£&G NOISE!"

..And the daily mail readers did, it seems.

"...our shows are for families and do not even have any innuendo in them."

In other words they're missing the point of good panto. Best one I've seen in years was Julian Clary at the hippodrome in Brum. Filthy, but only if you weren't an innocent little cherub to begin with.

Then again, if you employ a reject from "Chav Showcase", you can't expect double entendres, wit or repartee.

Oh no he didn't!

Oh yes he did.

I'll get me coat!

"F*ck off, you climb up the f*cking beanstalk if you love it so f*cking much." I like to think he was drunk.

also known as a play.

pantomime has to have certain key ingredients:

woman dressing up as man - Principal boy

man dressing as woman - dame (or ugly sisters in cinderella)

poncy fairy - the good guys

totally over the top hamming it for all you are worth evil guy - the bad guy

add a heavy load of smut and innuendo.

add bucket loads of comedy

add messy stuff

result - top quality panto - ours in due to be out in january, we are rehearsing now, and if asked i might be tempted to tell you where!

Why on earth are they putting up ChristX lights so early? I remember the day, back when I were't lad, a ChristX tree couldn't be seen a fortnight before December 25 (which would, I guess, be around December 11). Now, I can't so much as swing a cat for ChristX trees and lights and snowmen everywhere with Halloween, Guy Fawkes and ChristX seeming to merge into a big blur.

I agree with all us losers-- Christmas starts WAYYYY tooo early.

Here in the States (Ok Alaska, not quite one of the "Lower 48" but still with some issues) I saw Christmas sh*t in the stores BEFORE HALLOWEEN.

I've god young'uns I work with (still in their 20's) who think putting up their tee over Thanksgiving weekend is OK. S

Sheesh! There should not me ANYTHING Christmas until December 1.

Fed up & cranky from too little coffee on Thanksgiving morning,

John in Fairbanks

Don't know about ChristX and Halloween/Guy Fawkes all merging into one big blur - It's the fact that they end up clearing the xmas decorations off the shelf to make way for the easter eggs that gets me. We haven't even got over celebrating Jeebus' birth before we're gearing up to celebrate nailing him up to a lump of wood!

I'll tell you what's early for Christmas.

Just south of the M4, between J12 (Reading West) and M4 J13 (A34/Newbury) is a spot where they grow Christmas trees. They were cutting them down **three weeks ago**.

I wish you a hopeful Christmas

I wish you a brave New Year

All anguish pain and sadness

Leave your heart and let your road be clear

They said there'll be snow at Christmas

They said there'll be peace on Earth

Hallelujah Noel be it Heaven or Hell

The Christmas you get you deserve.

And in the case of the prat at the opening ceremony, the Christmas he deserves includes *not* getting paid the fee for the panto. Sorry, guv, not very Christmassy I know, but...

.. what the fuck is "ChristX"? It's either Christmas (or any of the more accurate names, such as Winterfest, Yuletide, etc) or Xmas, as the 'X' stands for Christ, from the Greek letter 'chi'.

As for censuring him, well, he was an idiot. If you are 'in the public eye' and attempting to trade on your supposed 'family appeal' then you have to modify your behaviour in line with the so-called 'family friendly' bullshit.

However, 'swearing' is just not a big deal, in fact it's not even a deal at all, just a weird hangover from puritan attitudes which were only ever adopted by a small minority of people in the UK and sadly re-invented by people who imagined them as "Victorian Values" and thus the middle-class ideal.

Is it just me, or are the complaints about Christmas decorations being put up arriving earlier and earlier each year?...

some spotty, skinny, pale, dressed in black, depressed looking little nothing made a smartarse comment about him being a failed chav and he responded "Shut the f@$k up you stupid f%$king emo c^%t".

...done a few years ago found that playing Xmas songs over the office P.A. was the most depressing thing you could do in an office.

We (that is, the I.T. Dept, all three of us) tested this one year (I worked in a rural council) when the CEO asked us to put Xmas songs over the P.A.

On the first day, it was pretty much ignored.

On the second day it was shut off after 2 minutes and twelve seconds (someone yanked the power on the amp.)

On the third day, the CD player mysteriously vanished (it turned up in Janurary).

We tried plugging in a PC, but it's amazing how those things eat power cords.

On the fourth day, the CEO decided that playing Xmas tunes was probably not the best thing and rescinded his original order. His decision may have had something to do with the sixty-seven written complaints he received after our final attempt at filling the original order (iPod, set to shuffle and repeat, volume on amp turned up full to overcome local volume knobs, and the whole thing locked in a cupboard.)

Funnily enough, our office wasn't connected to the P.A. system...

(true! we really did this!)

here in Sydney we have the usual christmas trimmings in the shop window but what i don't get is why its all snow scenes...

The man says "our shows are for families and do not even have any innuendo in them".

Then I have to ask: What the fuck is the bloody point? The whole IDEA behind panto is that there IS innuendo. LOTS of innuendo if it's done right. It's funny as hell for the children and the adults, and the adults go home wondering just how much little Jamie really understood...

Damn, talk about having utterly and completely missed the point.

Want an icon for

Point <--------------- ... ---------------> The idiot referenced in the article.

Alaska, hmmm nice. One of my fave' places to visit.

BTW, being in AK and closer to the North Pole, do you get your presents delivered any earlier?

John in Oz.

Christmas wasn't allowed to start in our house until Dec 17th. My sisters birthday was the 16th so Christmas was put on hold so she could have a proper birthday. Fair enough as the rest of us had birthdays in the summer, our cousin got real pissed off when is sister was born Dec 24th tee-hee.

"Where's my career?"

"It's behind you"

"No it isn't "

"Oh yes it is!"

(Genie leaves with poof)

One is about to retrieve one's outer apparel and depart after slapping one's thigh

Innuendo is, I would say, required for a panto.

Smut is OK, but bear in mind there are kids in the audience.

Crudity and swearing is a complete no-no. And if he used the proverbial f-word, he deserves to be sacked.

...another horror word : WIZZERD or however its spelt.

Thats when u know christmas has truly arrived, the f%ckers from the 70s are played non stop on TV ads, shop floors, shopping centres, the works.

Anyway - @John Boyarsky I totally agree. The same thing happens over here in the UK except I'm sure I spotted an xmas shelf setup in October, its no good I tells ya.

@John PM Chappell - yes I too cringed when I saw ChristX but then I stopped and thought it might be a new younguns word for christmas, and how we came up with new words for things when we were younger. Masseeev.

And yes I think this Paul Danan character should rot in obscurity hell and get the sack from his TV career too for that. I loved the way his manager came out and said it was totally out of character! My arse, I'd wager he's one of those compulsory cursers and they're just rubbing up the Lancashire press, begrudgingly, to cling onto his sad soap career.

Yes there is a double standards thing, in that the children would have heard swearing regularly at home, but to hear it in public like that enforces their beliefs even more that its alright to be compulsory cursers themselves.

And thats just wrong. Right? Right.

Personally, I think we should call it ChristCon 2007.

If he can't control his language, what's the chance he controls his other behaviour?

If, as according to Louis, he did say "MAKE SOME MOTHER F#*!£&G NOISE!" and there were children present, it would appear that he was inciting statutory rape and incest.

What is the world coming to when we can't promote child-abuse as a Christmas activity?

Who gives a sh!t if some half-ar$sed nobody who can't get a decent job anymore gets sacked from a panto anyway? In fact who gives a to$$ about panto? I went to a panto once when I was 6. Scarred me for life. Men dressed as women? Girls pretending to be boys? Christopher Biggins? Kids could be scarred for life watching that. They should just sit at home and play Manhunt instead. Far safer............

PS Bet you'd never see Paris with her puss in boots...............